Your emotional wellbeing and mental health

The experiences of pregnancy, giving birth and parenting a newborn baby are often intense and exhausting, even when you are delighted to be welcoming a baby into your family. Your own expectations of yourself to be the perfect parent, plus family and societal expectations can make it an even more stressful time.

If you have also had a traumatic birth experience, other difficult life events or health problems or have experienced the loss of your baby, at any stage of your pregnancy or after giving birth, the distress can be overwhelming.

Whatever your experience, you are not alone. You are certainly not the only one to feel upset or overwhelmed at some point. This is common amongst parents.

We are glad you have found these pages and would like to share some ideas about what might help.

First steps to looking after your emotional wellbeing

Here are some first steps to looking after yourself and your feelings:

If you can, connect with someone you can trust. When we feel upset it can be hard to reach out and talk to anyone, even those we care about and who love us, but it does help:

• Call or text a friend or family member and share how you are feeling. Let them know you would like their support.
• Find out about a local baby drop-in clinic, feeding clinic, mother and baby group or other local welcome where you could meet others and feel understood. You don't need to speak, but simply being with others in a similar time of life can be comforting.
• Reach out to your midwife during pregnancy, your health visitor once you have had your baby or your GP at any time. You don't need to know what to say - just let them know you are struggling, and they will try and help. Asking for support is a good thing as a new parent. It is not a sign of weakness but a sign of wisdom.

See if you can address one of the following if this is a problem for you:

• Sleep: you may not be getting enough sleep due to physical discomfort or worry or due to attending to your newborn baby. What needs to happen so that you can make space to sleep today during the day or night, by asking someone to help you for a while?
• Eating: you may be struggling to eat healthily right now. What needs to happen today to enable you to have a meal that makes you feel good? Who can you ask?
• Exercise or movement: you may not have been able to get outside, stretch or move your body. Can you take five minutes right now to do this?

What to do if you are really struggling with your mental health

Mental health crisis helpline - 24 hours 7 days a week support for people in Surrey. Call 0800 915 4644.